Other Writings

Doing weird stuff for money isn't the only thing I write about. Click the story title links below to read some of my other work...

Donald Trump, One in Five and 43.9%A piece about the outpouring of stories from victims of sexual assault after Donald Trump was caught on camera joking about groping a woman with impunity.

The Mess from the WestA short story about the Mess from the West, one of Kansas' most beloved fighters.

If There's So Much Parity in the NFL, Why Do the Same Teams Keep Winning?Listen to anyone who knows anything about the NFL, and they will rave about how much parity there is in the league. Even though there isn't any. 

The Hard Is What Makes It GreatA piece I wrote after Kevin Durant signed with the Golden State Warriors. 

The Dying of the StillHow I sometimes feel about technology.

How to Meet Someone in Real Life- Introducing: The Real-Life Coupling Viability Index (yeah I know, the name needs work), ranking some of the best ways to meet someone without using an app. 

Subtext- Just a story about a guy who texts a girl.

The Scariest Thing About Donald Trump Isn't Donald Trump- Watching Donald Trump continue to climb in the polls has been one of the more upsetting things to happen in my life. This article is about why.

1500 Little Pieces- I wrote a guest post for my friend Mike's blog about reducing the impact we have on waste in the world. This was tough because I really don't care about the environment.

I Like the Way My City Looks When She Is Sleeping- Have you ever woken up at 4AM and had the city all to yourself? I think that's when she's at her best.

How I Finally Got Myself to Eat Healthy, Work Out, and Lose 25 Pounds in Just 365 Days- The way I see it, there are a million websites telling you how to lose that spare tire and get in shape. But they are all focused on a sort of superficial “how to.” What foods to eat. What exercises to do. They don’t talk about the deeper “how to.” How to get yourself to actually do the things you know you’re supposed to do.

For those of you who have tried to get healthy and failed, think about those failures. Did you struggle because you didn’t know what to eat? Or did you struggle because you knew exactly what you were supposed to eat, you just couldn’t make yourself actually do it for an extended period of time? Did you struggle because you didn’t realize exercise was valuable? Or did you struggle because you were fully aware of the health benefits, it’s just a total pain in the ass going to the gym several days a week? This is an article about how to actually get to a place where doing those difficult things becomes easy.

Marriage Equality- This is a piece about why I support the legalization of polygamy and you should too.

The Era of the Unloved Megastars- Am I the only one who finds it weird that so many people don't like Tom Brady and LeBron James? Here's a few hundred words I wrote on the subject.

What You Missed if You Skipped Jurassic World- In case you missed the fantastically ridiculous Jurassic World, don't worry. I'm here to tell you exactly what happened.

I'm Tired of Feeling Deflated- Remember in the run-up to Super Bowl XLIX when everyone and their mother started bitching about the Patriots with an absurd level of righteous indignation? Well I sure as hell do. Here's a piece I ended up writing about it.

Scandal Recaps- One of my favorite writing gigs ever was doing recaps of the TV show "Scandal," for the website BDC Wire. I wrote a series titled "Stuff I Shout at the Television" and it was basically me bitching about the mile-wide plotholes in every episode. Click the episode title to see the story about that week's episode. (The series only existed for the second half of season three, so unfortunately no recaps from this year's episodes).

The Price of Free and Fair Elections

Flesh and Blood

The Fluffer

Mama Said Knock You Out

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

No Sun on the Horizon

We Do Not Touch the First Ladies

Ride, Sally, Ride

A Door Marked Exit

YOLO

Peter Sagal Interview- In one of the cooler moments of my career, The Times of Israel contracted me to interview one of my favorite radio hosts: Peter Sagal from "Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!" 

Are You Okay?- On April 15th, 2013, two bombs went off near the finish line of the Boston Marathon, killing three and injuring a couple hundred more. Sometimes as a writer, something happens and you know you’re not gonna get any sleep until you put some words to paper about the whole thing. This was one of those moments. This is the piece I wrote that day.